Shame is a complicated emotion that is felt by someone who feels they have done wrong or aren’t good enough. This can come after doing something that others see as shameful and can even be felt when things are totally out of your control. When it is caused by trauma, it can bear a huge burden that will last a lifetime if not dealt with.

Being ashamed is feeling this low point of self-esteem and can leave you feeling worthless and like there is no hope for you. This is damaging to self-esteem, unless you can recover from it. Keep reading to learn more about how you can deal with shame caused by trauma.


When Trauma Causes Shame:

Shame is a low feeling of self-consciousness that has varied effects on your emotional well-being. It’s a feeling of guilt, not being enough, or feeling like you don’t belong somewhere.

These feelings cause low self-esteem, low self-respect, and constant feelings of insecurity. When shame is caused by trauma, it is a much deeper experience that really hinders the development of healthy self-esteem.

Throughout my young life, I experienced sexual abuse and, during adolescence, fear of becoming pregnant by my abuser. This was heightened after it happened to one of my schoolmates.

My final trauma came when I was 19, in the outback of Australia, away from civilization, and being raped daily for over three weeks. It took years to understand that perpetrators, who, in my opinion, had also been sexually abused. 


Signs of Shame That Is Caused By Trauma

Most people, when they feel humiliated, can have physical systems like, red face, squeeze the stomach, run, hide, lash out. However, most sexual abuse victims become very good at shutting down their physical bodies and energetically disappearing as a coping mechanism.

My initial response was always from anger, and that still occurs today. When I traced it back, I found out that it is a lack of acceptance. It became a vicious cycle because I became frustrated with my family members not understanding me. I didn’t even understand myself. I felt something was wrong with me.


This lack of self-esteem spurred lots of negative behaviour. I became a workaholic who felt safer burying myself in work, instead of having to deal with people. I was an entrepreneur, happier working 24/7 for myself than working a 40-hour week for a boss.

·        Extremely Low Self Esteem

·        Addiction Issues

·        Anger Issues

·        Constant Self-Blame

·        Avoidance


How Trauma-Caused Shame Affects Your Life

Looking back, I spent most of my life disconnected because of the refusal to accept my traumas. I got stuck in a frozen place of chaos, and rage. As a child, I would not go near a man. However, as I grew up, things changed.

Whenever life did not go my way, or I crossed a person who went strictly by the book, my temporary calm became unhooked, and this chaotic abusive energy would rise to the surface, asking for my attention.

Since I did not understand any of it and disliked these horrible feelings, I buried them deeper and deeper into my inner core. Even today, awareness is a hard act to master, but healing is an ongoing process that I’m committed to until the end.


How to Heal From Shame Caused By Trauma

I had buried my original trauma under layers of shame and other negative emotions for 50 years. However, through therapy and a newly developed sense of spirituality, I could set myself free for the first time in a long time. Healing from the trauma itself will take a lot of work, but it is the only way you will relieve yourself of the burden of shame that you’re under. To heal, you first need to acknowledge it.

This is followed by acceptance, which will be the hardest part of your healing journey. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you “get over it” and act as if nothing ever happened. Acceptance is the acknowledgment of your trauma. It’s a peaceful state of accepting that it has happened and that you can heal from it. Once you have accepted the trauma, the healing begins.

It is a long road to being healed, as you can see from my journey. But you and I both know that is it a journey well worth taking. In taking this step to healing yourself, you’re moving toward a better life. If you need help taking that first step, contact me to learn how my Healing Methods can help you. 

The Truth About Self-Blame

Blame, by definition, means to point fault at something or someone. When used as a noun, it is simply guilt. For example, when something bad happens to you, you’re likely to put the blame on something or another person.

But what happens when you blame yourself? Self-blame can become a toxic trait that will make you feel at fault for something that had nothing to do with you.

Today, we’ll take a look at my own experiences with self-blame, so that you can see how self-blame can affect your whole life. Keep reading to learn more.

Experiencing Self-Blame

In my world, blame has been an all-encompassing subject. It has been deflected towards me, from me, and reflected within myself. Within the word blame is the word, “am”. This implies that how you’re being present has a lot to do with your soul’s energy.

Blaming was not my only option. I could have surrendered I could have been totally forgiving. Instead, I delayed digging deeper into what caused my anger. I was not being totally honest with the part I played in my own blame.

This only causes more pain, in the long run. By prolonging your healing and internalizing guilt or blame, you are only hurting yourself, in the end.

What Happens To Us When We Blame Ourselves?

Blaming is the ego’s defense response, meaning that it makes us avoid accepting our deeper truth. It’s an emotional wall that blocks out even the most obvious realities, at times.

When we blame someone else, we are actually distancing ourselves from the event and transferring the responsibility onto the other person. However, when self-blame becomes ingrained in yourself, you will likely suffer a separation complex and start preferring isolation over socialization.

Why Do We Blame Ourselves?

You see, anger arises when we blame others for a negative feeling. But guilt is what arises when we blame or judge ourselves. This can happen from having an accident, or from experiencing abuse.

Self-blame can also rise when the perpetrator is a very charming person, well-liked, or in a place of authority with full control over his or her victims. The victim may think that they can’t tell anyone because they won’t believe it or want to believe it.

Then there are others, who use victim-blaming as a way of refusing to accept that in the future they may become a victim themselves.  This has been seen many times in rape cases, over the years.

My Experience With Self-Blame

This was an emotion I carried from being a victim of incest. I blamed myself for not being able to stop my father from his acts. I prayed and prayed and listened to the priest, but it did not happen.

I then blamed myself and carried the guilt of my Father’s suicide, in that I did not stop him from his attempt. No matter what, I would not reverse that decision.

Honestly, it may have served me better if I had taken full responsibility for that decision. Of course, I was not totally alone in making that decision. Nevertheless, blaming myself has been a large part of stopping my love for myself and others.

What Is The Permanent Truth About Ourselves?

The truth is, we can always handle what life gives us. It may not seem that way, at the moment, but this is the reality.

In the end, the essence of blame is held in the letters of the word. Being a verb, blame is a task we all need to learn to get through. Of course, you need to take full accountability for the responses of our thoughts, actions, and feelings.

It can be very complicated when most of the time, you’re not being present.  But, when you’re not in tune with your conscious mind, absent intentions can get rerouted to our subconscious. When you take the time to dig deep, you’ll unravel all of the webs that self-blame has weaved in your mind, and you will be able to live your life and love yourself.

How Shamanic Healing Can Help Your Self-Blame Healing

The lessons you need to learn from self-blame are already inside of you. You need to dig for these buried lessons to find our treasures and gifts for freedom and abundance.


Forgiveness is perhaps one of the toughest lessons to learn and often, it is a lesson that always seems to come last. How could you possibly forgive someone that has hurt you? Well, it starts by releasing that pain.

By definition, forgiveness is releasing blame or guilt from someone that has hurt you or yourself. For me, forgiveness requires an in-depth understanding of myself and others. It is not something that comes naturally. It is mostly a learned behavior that is impressed on you at a young age or that you must develop and practice later on.

Forgiveness requires a more balanced view of the one who has wronged you so that we can release the weight of the negative emotions and desire for punishment and revenge. It requires more listening than talking. When we stop judging and simply become an observer, we will know inner peace. Keep reading to learn more about forgiveness and how you can reach it.

My Experience With Forgiveness

It’s hard to forgive others, especially when the stakes are high, and someone has hurt you badly. Let me start by sharing my experience in giving forgiveness.

A client of mine was building a ski resort at Smugglers Notch Lodge, Vermont, and asked and needed a considerable amount of money to complete the project. While I asked for advice, I eventually chose my own wishful decision. To make a story short, I and one other large investor lost all our money.

At that point, I accepted the fact that the money was gone. I chose not to get upset or angry. Instead, I chose the first and learned about some tax loss incentives to reduce the crushing financial loss. This way, I could cut the loss down to one-third of my original.

When you learn to forgive others and then yourself because you had a part to play in the receiving of the hurt. No matter how hard it is to find that pain spot in yourself, you will never be free from the pain of others unless you can learn to forgive.


Self-forgiveness is freely letting go of any negative thoughts or bitterness about a situation or something that you have done (or didn’t do). It is essential in our lives. Without self-forgiveness, distress will continue to follow you throughout your life.

Sometimes it can be harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive others. Someone with low self-esteem or a shaky sense of self-worth may blame themselves for everything, even for things that are no one’s fault

Understanding that self-forgiveness is difficult to work. It helps to know that humans are complex, and we cannot judge another. Self-forgiveness, like courage, is an option. This is deep heart work, and there are a variety of steps we can take to help and guide us.

The Steps To Forgiveness

There is a two-step process in forgiveness. The first is deciding to forgive those that have hurt you or yourself. The second is surrendering to the flow of life. This is more active forgiveness and is shorter and faster than passive forgiveness. It is having acceptance of what has happened, and what may come.

Freedom comes from accepting whatever life gives us, no matter how unpleasant and painful. With the death of a loved one, learning how to hold their memories in our hearts, to work towards understanding there is no true separation. They would not want us to suffer indefinitely.

In meditation, prayers, you can learn to surrender. To let go and become like water.  Resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow debilitating energies that disempower us. You need to learn to accept and feel your emotions without judgment. In this way, you are on your path towards self-mastery.

Spiritual advancement in life will like to be preceded by some kind of fall or disaster. These times of chaos are in fact necessary to break up the old rigid habitual patterns.

Practicing Forgiveness and Starting Your Healing Journey

Forgiveness requires the release of anger, shame, guilt, embarrassment, and secrets.  When trauma or pain happens at an early age (under four), it’s not stored in the accessible parts of the brain or memory. It requires peeling back many layers to discover the original truth.

It took me years of asking why I spent my first 20 years of life surrounded by trauma, and eventually I saw the opposite when understanding and forgiveness came together. These experiences were necessary for me to unreel the grey clouds surrounding my spiritual self.

To reach forgiveness, my soul’s journey was to clear, cleanse, and purify every cell in my body. It was in the surrendering of my human energy all inviting the universal energy of love and light to flow that I also found my calling in Shamanic Healing work.

Clearing your energy fields is a great first step to helping you open up your true wound and beginning the healing process. If you need help in finding forgiveness, whether it is for yourself or for others, contact me.



Happiness Goal Anyone!


You’ve likely heard the phrase, “Do what makes you happy” more than a few times. But, do you know what true happiness really is? And more importantly, do you know how to attain true happiness?

Above all else, happiness is the most sought-after thing in the world. Every human on this Earth craves happiness, but most do not know how to attain it. It’s not just a blissful feeling of joy, but it’s true contentment, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Like many others, my life has been a series of hills and valleys. For some time, I experienced much more negative than positive, and it reflected in myself, and my life moving forward. However, years of traveling and connecting with nature and other people led me to a life of fulfillment and abundance. Keep reading to hear my journey to happiness, and how you can truly be happy!


What Is Happiness?

While achieving happiness is subjective, the principle of happiness remains the same for everyone. Happiness is experiencing more positive emotions than negative ones. In other words, it’s to be balanced, satisfied with your life, and be at peace with yourself and the world around you.

To me, happiness comes from freedom, adventure, being spiritual, and connecting with others. These are times that my spirit is completely free to express itself, there is no controlling my life. Instead, I can accept, surrender, trust, and feel safe.

Safety and security are very important to me, and one place that offers that to me is being in nature. It took trips with my husband canoeing in the wilderness to experience the awareness that nature does not critique or judge. These were very freeing experiences and ones mostly unknown to me until that time, or unaware of this knowledge.


How I Discovered Happiness:

Growing up, I faced significant challenges that did not contain a lot of happiness. My happy times were away from the home. My need for freedom was very strong and did not feel the ability to engage in this desire until after my parents passed.

Somehow, I learned to love the extremes of becoming a debutant during the week attending dances and hunting gemstones with the guys on weekends. My love of exploring was being developed and paired with my love of nature and freedom.

I also became a traveler and took a two-month trip around Australia enjoying the adventure, the movement of going from place to place. This gave me a freedom I had not previously known. My love of adventure was further developed by traveling to New Zealand, Fiji, the United States, eventually settling in Canada. Here, I found the freedom to be myself, to complete my education, and have children all heartfelt desires I had.

My happiness was further developed by my ability to create via painting, poetry, and writing. Through my inner personal growth work and meditation, I learned I was a very spiritual person and probably the happiest times in my life were when doing energy work. I enjoyed numerous spiritual experiences and began to learn there is more to us than our Earthly life.

I learned that we create our worlds and knowing and feeling that we can become masters of our life, ie our health, our environment (I now live on an island, surrounded by nature), and choose time to develop self-love which ideally then flows out to other humans.


Temporary Happiness:

Happiness can be a fleeting experience; it can exist from one moment and gone the next. It’s all about what makes you happy, but when it’s based on someone or something, this is material happiness and not true to yourself. Once the external happiness is gone, your happiness goes with it.

My ability to manifest my desires gave me temporary happiness, becoming an entrepreneur and only responsible to myself and my clients. Being self-employed, while difficult, also gave me the freedom on several occasions to take 6-month vacations from my businesses.

Eventually, because of being a workaholic, I had the finances to pay for therapy and gain an understanding of my personal issues. I learned that when my life was not going well, I could change that by clearing and cleansing my physical, emotional and mental blockages which created more freedom in these areas.


Finding Happiness With The Help of A Healer

When you’ve got mental or emotional baggage, the chances of being truly happy are smaller. It takes breaking free from old pain and blockages and pursuing happiness from within. Energy clearing can be the key that unlocks that door for you.

Through clearing your old pain, you’re opening your heart to new, better things. By healing your emotional wounds, happiness not only becomes real, but tangible. Contact me today to get the journey to happiness started today. 613-699-1943




7 Ways to Incorporate Healing Strategies Into Everyday Life

7 Ways to Incorporate Healing Strategies Into Everyday Life

  1. The number one rule of healing is persistency and consistency. Just 5 minutes a day will maintain the goal. Seek a friend, a counselor, a therapist, and sign up for weekly sessions. One thing I learned after many years is that the therapist that I did not like was, in fact, the best one to assist me because they were mirroring back to me my distasteful patterns.
  2. Maintain a daily diary of one’s internal and external feelings, actions and thoughts as well as dreams. One needs to learn how to interpret them for oneself. It will be helpful to look back and see the changes and patterns that are still persisting months or years later.
  3. Stay off drugs during meditation. This is sending two signals to the subconscious. One, I wish to self-heal, and the other, the opposite: I give my power away to others. This is a dichotomy.
  4. Begin to pay attention to your physical pain and discomforts. In my world, pain is my best friend because it is warning me that there is no happiness or love in that area. It is my responsibility to make my body and myself happy.
  5. Mentally observe your negative thoughts and once observed, immediately say out loud the exact opposite. If possible, repeat three times. One can create their own daily mantra.
  6. Sign up on the internet for free inner growth courses that appeal to you.
  7. Build your own inner growth network of friends whom you can share your deep personal thoughts with. A buddy system is a wonderful support system.

Ask your guides, angels, masters, saints, etc. for their guidance, and follow through.