The Truth About Self-Blame
Blame, by definition, means to point fault at something or someone. When used as a noun, it is simply guilt. For example, when something bad happens to you, you’re likely to put the blame on something or another person.
But what happens when you blame yourself? Self-blame can become a toxic trait that will make you feel at fault for something that had nothing to do with you.
Today, we’ll take a look at my own experiences with self-blame, so that you can see how self-blame can affect your whole life. Keep reading to learn more.
In my world, blame has been an all-encompassing subject. It has been deflected towards me, from me, and reflected within myself. Within the word blame is the word, “am”. This implies that how you’re being present has a lot to do with your soul’s energy.
Blaming was not my only option. I could have surrendered I could have been totally forgiving. Instead, I delayed digging deeper into what caused my anger. I was not being totally honest with the part I played in my own blame.
This only causes more pain, in the long run. By prolonging your healing and internalizing guilt or blame, you are only hurting yourself, in the end.
What Happens To Us When We Blame Ourselves?
Blaming is the ego’s defense response, meaning that it makes us avoid accepting our deeper truth. It’s an emotional wall that blocks out even the most obvious realities, at times.
When we blame someone else, we are actually distancing ourselves from the event and transferring the responsibility onto the other person. However, when self-blame becomes ingrained in yourself, you will likely suffer a separation complex and start preferring isolation over socialization.
Why Do We Blame Ourselves?
You see, anger arises when we blame others for a negative feeling. But guilt is what arises when we blame or judge ourselves. This can happen from having an accident, or from experiencing abuse.
Self-blame can also rise when the perpetrator is a very charming person, well-liked, or in a place of authority with full control over his or her victims. The victim may think that they can’t tell anyone because they won’t believe it or want to believe it.
Then there are others, who use victim-blaming as a way of refusing to accept that in the future they may become a victim themselves. This has been seen many times in rape cases, over the years.
My Experience With Self-Blame
This was an emotion I carried from being a victim of incest. I blamed myself for not being able to stop my father from his acts. I prayed and prayed and listened to the priest, but it did not happen.
I then blamed myself and carried the guilt of my Father’s suicide, in that I did not stop him from his attempt. No matter what, I would not reverse that decision.
Honestly, it may have served me better if I had taken full responsibility for that decision. Of course, I was not totally alone in making that decision. Nevertheless, blaming myself has been a large part of stopping my love for myself and others.
What Is The Permanent Truth About Ourselves?
The truth is, we can always handle what life gives us. It may not seem that way, at the moment, but this is the reality.
In the end, the essence of blame is held in the letters of the word. Being a verb, blame is a task we all need to learn to get through. Of course, you need to take full accountability for the responses of our thoughts, actions, and feelings.
It can be very complicated when most of the time, you’re not being present. But, when you’re not in tune with your conscious mind, absent intentions can get rerouted to our subconscious. When you take the time to dig deep, you’ll unravel all of the webs that self-blame has weaved in your mind, and you will be able to live your life and love yourself.
How Shamanic Healing Can Help Your Self-Blame Healing
The lessons you need to learn from self-blame are already inside of you. You need to dig for these buried lessons to find our treasures and gifts for freedom and abundance.