Forgiveness is perhaps one of the toughest lessons to learn and often, it is a lesson that always seems to come last. How could you possibly forgive someone that has hurt you? Well, it starts by releasing that pain.

By definition, forgiveness is releasing blame or guilt from someone that has hurt you or yourself. For me, forgiveness requires an in-depth understanding of myself and others. It is not something that comes naturally. It is mostly a learned behavior that is impressed on you at a young age or that you must develop and practice later on.

Forgiveness requires a more balanced view of the one who has wronged you so that we can release the weight of the negative emotions and desire for punishment and revenge. It requires more listening than talking. When we stop judging and simply become an observer, we will know inner peace. Keep reading to learn more about forgiveness and how you can reach it.

My Experience With Forgiveness

It’s hard to forgive others, especially when the stakes are high, and someone has hurt you badly. Let me start by sharing my experience in giving forgiveness.

A client of mine was building a ski resort at Smugglers Notch Lodge, Vermont, and asked and needed a considerable amount of money to complete the project. While I asked for advice, I eventually chose my own wishful decision. To make a story short, I and one other large investor lost all our money.

At that point, I accepted the fact that the money was gone. I chose not to get upset or angry. Instead, I chose the first and learned about some tax loss incentives to reduce the crushing financial loss. This way, I could cut the loss down to one-third of my original.

When you learn to forgive others and then yourself because you had a part to play in the receiving of the hurt. No matter how hard it is to find that pain spot in yourself, you will never be free from the pain of others unless you can learn to forgive.


Self-forgiveness is freely letting go of any negative thoughts or bitterness about a situation or something that you have done (or didn’t do). It is essential in our lives. Without self-forgiveness, distress will continue to follow you throughout your life.

Sometimes it can be harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive others. Someone with low self-esteem or a shaky sense of self-worth may blame themselves for everything, even for things that are no one’s fault

Understanding that self-forgiveness is difficult to work. It helps to know that humans are complex, and we cannot judge another. Self-forgiveness, like courage, is an option. This is deep heart work, and there are a variety of steps we can take to help and guide us.

The Steps To Forgiveness

There is a two-step process in forgiveness. The first is deciding to forgive those that have hurt you or yourself. The second is surrendering to the flow of life. This is more active forgiveness and is shorter and faster than passive forgiveness. It is having acceptance of what has happened, and what may come.

Freedom comes from accepting whatever life gives us, no matter how unpleasant and painful. With the death of a loved one, learning how to hold their memories in our hearts, to work towards understanding there is no true separation. They would not want us to suffer indefinitely.

In meditation, prayers, you can learn to surrender. To let go and become like water.  Resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow debilitating energies that disempower us. You need to learn to accept and feel your emotions without judgment. In this way, you are on your path towards self-mastery.

Spiritual advancement in life will like to be preceded by some kind of fall or disaster. These times of chaos are in fact necessary to break up the old rigid habitual patterns.

Practicing Forgiveness and Starting Your Healing Journey

Forgiveness requires the release of anger, shame, guilt, embarrassment, and secrets.  When trauma or pain happens at an early age (under four), it’s not stored in the accessible parts of the brain or memory. It requires peeling back many layers to discover the original truth.

It took me years of asking why I spent my first 20 years of life surrounded by trauma, and eventually I saw the opposite when understanding and forgiveness came together. These experiences were necessary for me to unreel the grey clouds surrounding my spiritual self.

To reach forgiveness, my soul’s journey was to clear, cleanse, and purify every cell in my body. It was in the surrendering of my human energy all inviting the universal energy of love and light to flow that I also found my calling in Shamanic Healing work.

Clearing your energy fields is a great first step to helping you open up your true wound and beginning the healing process. If you need help in finding forgiveness, whether it is for yourself or for others, contact me.



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